i feel freaking sick ..
fever dropped den went up high ..
nose is running ..
blocked nose ..
hot head ..
cold body ..
shivering hands ..
red eyes ..
and a fucking BAD mouth ..

sincerely, thruthfully, faithfully
SORRY

both us r to be blamed ..
i did it wrong .. n u did too ..
it wasnt meant to make u feel guilty ..
it wasnt meant to vent my anger ..
cox im not angry nor disappointed ..
i feel lonely ..
but not sad ..
i dun tink i feel sad ..
cox sad is not wen i really2 want to nt exist ..
i feel lonely and abandoned ..

der's no one , now , tat i tink , cares ferr me ..
even fer my own family ..
well, love is de most diff thing to find ..
if u want it, den earn it ..
i dun tink i deserve it ..
det's y im not havin it ..

all i need is sum1 to care ..
all i need is just sum1 to care ..
all i need is tat ..
and it's very diff ..

..........................................................................................................................................................................


ALL I NEED IS SOMEONE TO CARE ...

Joe called in to say tt i made it into the SL camp ..
yay, i tink ..
unexpected ma ..
the best part is det FaSha wud b der !!
gerek ar ..

den went bowlin ..
ok lar ..
just swing de ball ..
go back n wait ferr de ball to return ..
den swing it again ..
den go back to our seats la ..

den .. it started to rain ..
both the weather and in my heart ..
it rained heavily as if it showed how i was feeling ..
i love wen its raining ..
eventhough it sounds stupid ..
but i tink, wen it rains ..
its like god is on my side, guiding me .

well .. i was abit afraid bout me goin to lose my way back home again ..
i tot of stayin back in skool ..
den he offered to send me back home ..
we ended up sharing an umbrella ..
it's gd det he sent me bck home ..
or else i'll be goin home late ..
cox i'll be lost ..
nta lar ..
byk pikiran ..

...................

i guess ..
de last chapter is here .
and i finish goin through it .
storybook is finished .
im goin to re-open the storybook .
and continue back on the last chapter det i was unhappy wit .
my family n my life ..

When we touch..
I feel something happen
When we breathe..
All the world is undone


Stay with me..
As my heart surrenders
Comfort me..
As I fall I cry..
ohh .. ohh


When we sleep..
Darkness brings us release
All you need..
You can find it in me


Stay with me..
As my heart surrenders
Comfort me..
As I fall I cry


[Chorus x5]


Standin' in the rain
Twisted and insane
We, are, holdin' onto nothing
Feelin' every breath
Holdin' no regrets
We're, still, lookin' out for something

.......................................................................................................................................................................

ders no more use of me .. startin dis lyfe, continue-ing dis lyfe & ending dis lyfe ..
live it as it is ............
always wear a mask ...........

.......................................................................................................................................................................

well,
he left ..
everione left ..
living me al0ne ..
in darkness n fear ..
living me in a empty space ..
seriously, i feel like tis is an illusion ..
i wont, i repeat, i WONT be able to trust guys animore ...
let me be ..
i'll strive tis ..
empty handed & alone ..

........................................................................................................................................................................

YOU'VE BEEN THE ONLY ONE THAT I REALLY LOVE

2dae .. took de SCI paper ..
susah nk mampos sial ..
da larr .. per0t ngah saket ..
nt bt0l2 per0t arr .. paham2 jerr

i suddenly remembered sumtink ..
i ask tis guy bout how he kiss a gal .. she said tis
" first i just look at her ..
den our faces get close ..
den ..
den ..
den ..
den ..
den ..
den .. "

den, i finished de sentence ferr hyme ..
"THEN , KISS "
nyahaha ..
ntah lar ..
we're both shy .. =)

2dae .. is not de most worst dae ferr me ..
but de most .........................................

first .. got to skool .. every1 asked me y my face like tt ..
ntah ehk .. i just kept quiet ..

first paper of MT paper ..
i kept fidgeting ..
it's like cannot consentrate
the pain in de head was so PAIN
i dont noe wat had happened ..
but it all happened fast
..
tears started to drip out of my eyes ..
didnt noe wat happened ..
was in a confusion ..
started to sob for a moment ..
den i went to SLEEP ..
..
haha ..
den de cher woke me up ..
i dont noe seyy ..
kla0 nk katerr det im pregnant ??
NO IM NOT ..
kiss pon tk pernah dpt .. nk maen plak ..
hehe ..
..
second paper of MT paper ..
did everytink smoothly ..
as b4 det sum1 wished me gudluck ..
ye larr .. of cox .. it has to be sum1 special ..
..
den i went to rc pat admiralty park, apteR exam ..
go study2 ..
den guys kaca0 lerr ..
haiz .. guyz .. arent dey tk ta0 malu t0k kaca0 anak dare org .. ?
..
den after a while ..
my m0m called me ..
asking me wer i am ..
everityme i go to a new location, den i must inform my parents ..
lagi2 my dad ..
den i hung up my mom's call ..
den after 2 mins !!!!!!!!!!
MY DAD CALL PLAK !!
cant my life be more worst ????????
den he said ..
"u come back straight on de spot b4 u c wat im gonna do to u"
in my heart ..
aperr .. nk rembat ?? nk sepak ?? nk slap ?? nk BUN0H ??
I DONT GIV A DAMN !!!
..
wen i went back home ..
i got a long lecture and another FUCKIN SLAP ..
so ??
i dont giv a damn to det too ..
..
daddy ..
I LIVE MY LIFE ..
N ..
U LIVE UR LIFE TOO ..
go larr ..
gi maen puki pomapan ..
gi maen bynk2 nk mampoi

notink much to say ..
still havent hear my voice ..
i'll wait till tomorrow to hear it ..

PLZ HEAL DE HOLE ..

tis is wat happened ...
now, at 9:55 PM
Anwar anerr ni ?! hehe

k .. im supposed to b de one dets angry .. not her perr
den de wae she msg oso, can show det she's de one who's havin prob wit me ..
not me havin prob wit her ..


This is what we msg-ed each other .. :



She : since u wont reply, i take it as u dont want to fren me any longer .. Fine.. =)



I : seriously .. slalu gini .. im de one who's suppose to b angry .. Now u want to be angry plak .. For wat .. i sat der for 1 long gd hr .. n u went back home .



She : i not angry pe. U ade right to b angry pe. If i didnt vomit that time, i will stay der. so wen u r angry, of cox i cant be wit u pe. Nanti i like tikus.



I: tu ..det shows alr .. ure not angry but .. i dno how to explain .. Slalu u lyke tis, den u say tikos2.



She: coz i always feel like tikus. Seriously. Do i deserve a g0od fren like u wen i always did make u angry.



I: If u keep feelin like her .. Den go b her .. cox u keep tinkin ure like tik0s is makin me go mad.

lets just say i chatted wit hyme for 5 WONDERFUL HOURS !!
hehe ..
chat juz finished .. can imagine him, at home, switchin off his compt, n goin to sleep
i oso wonder ? wats special ?
knaperr ehk i lup hyme ?

i dun noe larr ..

im lonely ..
die da oppline
really .. der's notink to talk about
im just gettin fcukin paranoid ..
seriously
I AM A RETARD

=)

=) feelin much much more better apter talkin wit hyme .
bout ur dream kn .. hehe
u can dream on .. until u do de real tink .
im just waitin PATIENTLY
=D

so, 2dae is wednesday, 30th April 08 ..
and det means .. GEOG MYE PAPER
ntah lar ..
i lost 10 marks !!
3 questin, 6marks, 2 marks, 2marks .. question .. NOT DONE !
wat was i tinkin ?
i started wit section B first .. den section C
AND i even had to rush through section A
*skip skip

aft de paper .. we. as a group of 7 + haiqal, we went to coxwae together .
it was like last year .. all de memories
but some spoiled de mood .
we wanted to go n eat at MAC'
but den it's full .. so in de end, we spent 2 hours + , at banquet

apter det , we went to de lib, i cabot from maths tutorial ..
go jalan wit de group .
i give up on maths alr ..
al0t of woodgrovers were at de library ..
SUDDENLY .. D.M came !!
sial arr ..
marah tk tentu pasal .
me and de group tk uat salah perr .

den tyme nk alek .. i took 913 bus
Anwar, i saw u
i tink tt its u .. cox cap samerr
wat were u doiin ?
hidayah, liyana, amalina n others said deyy saw u at cox wae .
i tk nmpk pon

SERIOUSLY .. now
i hav no mood
i feel .. sad, angry, sick, EMPTY, lifeless, hopeless, RANDOM
i dno larrr ..